Bottomley Watermelons

Ever heard of Bottomley watermelons? Neither have I until this morning. I was shopping at Home Depot. Now don’t you go thinking I’m handy. I was just there to find some heavy duty felt pads to attach to a tray I’m using to make a portable standup desk. (Call me if you know how to attach them to a wooden surface.)

            As I walked into the store though, I noticed two very large and sturdy cardboard boxes filled with watermelons. There was a handwritten sign that said, “Bottomley Watermelons.” My first thought was, am I getting so forgetful that I wandered into a Whole Foods store instead of Home Depot? A quick scan of the surrounding area quickly confirmed that I was in Home Depot; wood, paint, power tools, kitchen and bath fixtures.

My next thought was why Home Depot would be selling watermelons, not to mention what must be an upscale brand of watermelon?  Why else would you point out a brand name for a watermelon? Since I never heard of Bottomley, I decided to ask the nice people wearing Home Depot aprons what exactly a Bottomley watermelon is.

Guess what? No one had the slightest idea. I asked three employees. Two offered what they admitted were guesses. One guessed it was a type of watermelon. The other guessed it was a brand. Turns out the guy who guessed brand was correct. Thanks to the World Wide Web it’s almost too easy these days to get information that is critical to your day if not your life. Bottomley Farms, located in Ennice, North Carolina is the grower of the Bottomley watermelon. Ennice is a small town located in Alleghany County; with just under 11,000 residents...that’s the county, not the town.

 When I got the watermelon home I noticed that the label on the melon didn’t mention Bottomley. In fact it said seedless watermelons distributed by ABL Farms. And below that, grown and packed by WJ Produce which it so happens is located in Cordele, Georgia. ABL Farms –they also grow watermelons, is based in Forest Park, GA. Where exactly do these watermelons come from? Am I eating watermelon on a scorching hot day that was born and raised in the rich soil of North Carolina or the red clay of Georgia? And, who watered my watermelon? After all, watermelon is 92% water. Don’t I have a right to know the source of all that water?

As you can imagine I was quite concerned about the potential problems that might occur if I didn’t like the watermelon. I mean sure, I can always sue Home Depot, but as every red blooded American knows, it never hurts to sue several parties. So should it be Bottomley Farms? ABL Farms? And what about WJ Produce? I made a few calls. I had to get to the bottom of this before I took even one bite of watermelon.

Joyce, the J in WJ Produce, was pretty sure she and her husband grew those watermelons.

She also admitted she knew about the watermelon sale to Home Depot. She was very candid actually, possibly because she had absolutely nothing to hide. She also acknowledged that she sold her melons to ABL Farms. Of course I called ABL next, hot on the trail of a bait and switch watermelon scandal. I’ll be writing for the New York Times baby.

But then, things got a little confusing. The young lady I spoke with wasn’t sure about what might have happened. She was very professional. She took down my name and phone number and promised to speak with Danny. And to his credit, Danny called me right away, another one with nothing to hide.

But let me tell you something: I am like a dog with a bone when I have an unanswered question burning inside me. You better believe I called Bottomley Farms. And just like that the mystery was solved. Teresa told me that Bottomley Farms does grow watermelons and that Home Depot ordered them from Bottomley. Home Depot also gets their Halloween pumpkins and Christmas trees from Bottomley. Perhaps Bottomley didn’t have enough watermelons to sell Home Depot. So they bought them from ABL Farms who got them from WJ Produce. Case closed, almost. I suppose I should be disappointed. My muckraking days are off to a very rocky start. But I’m not disappointed. I just tasted the watermelon. It’s delicious.    

Copyright 2012, Len Serafino. All rights reserved.