Boogie Oogie Oogie

I’m 64 now. Yeah it happened about 3 weeks ago. I can’t say that living six plus decades has made me wiser. But, to paraphrase something novelist Kurt Vonnegut once said, why ask me what to do? The earth has been around for billions of years. I just got here. One thing I am certain of though is that there are some things you shouldn’t do after a certain age like dancing fast to a song like say, Boogie Oogie Oogie in public. Take my word for it you don’t move the way you did when you were twenty-something. You may remember the song, recorded by A Taste of Honey. My favorite line is “We’re gonna boogie oogie oogie until you just can’t boogie no more.” In the privacy of my own home I tried to do just that. Thirteen seconds and I couldn’t boogie-oogie no more. I never would have made it that long had it not been for the oxygen my wife was feeding me.
You know, you can play a mean game of tennis at 64 (Not me but I’ve seen it done.) You can cook a gourmet meal complete with a rich dessert and select an elegant wine to go with it. What you can’t do is eat it. You have to choose between the Chateaubriand and Chateauneuf-du- Pape. While everyone else is enjoying cherries jubilee, you’re nibbling on a ½ inch square of dark chocolate and I do mean 80% cocoa.
Another thing that never really looks good after the age of 60 is a man behind the wheel of a sports car even if it’s a Ferrari. As you’re turning the corner with your lamb skin gloves wrapped around the steering wheel, you can’t help notice that heads are turning. Feels good but deep down you must know the girls…and the guys are snickering. If you’re over 60 and you have that kind of bread, give it to charity if you want to impress. Remember: When you get out of that little red car your knees will still hurt.
Then there are the long working hours we used to take for granted. Business travel, time zone changes and high pressure stakes made your heart sing. Long distance travel in the twilight hours of your career gives you heartburn and high blood pressure makes your ears ring.
A friend of mine pointed out that Hillary Clinton, also 64 is still a globe trotter who keeps long hours and is at the top of her game. Yeah, but I’ll bet she doesn’t cut her own lawn on Saturdays. And let’s face it, she is a world leader constantly stimulated by global crises and the march of history. Suppose she was selling yogurt franchises, promising prospects a new flavor every other month? How stimulating would that be for someone just a year shy of Medicare eligibility? Her best hope for stimulation in that situation? Accidentally dropping her hair dryer in a stopped up, water filled sink in her motel room.
Here’s something else you shouldn’t do in your sixties. Criticize younger people for their work ethic, their manners or their lifestyles. Of course we don’t understand them. We were born under drastically different conditions. The world has changed so much and more than once in their short lifetimes. Most of them are doing the best they can. I recently had a job change that brought me into regular contact with young co-workers. Know what? They are smart and hard working. They’re ambitious and respectful, even patient with an old timer even if he just can’t boogie no more.