if i die

I recall a Mad Magazine cartoon where an old man on his death bed says to his friend of many years, “Come closer” He’s obviously about to utter his last words. The friend leans in. “Closer,” says the old man. Then, touching his friend’s arm with his forefinger, he says, “Last tap.” He dies with a satisfied smile on his face.

It is the ultimate squelch isn’t it? The problem is there is no way we can possibly be sure we can get life’s last tap. That is, until now.

            Thanks to the Web and its great gift to mankind, social media, we can now have life after life. Yes, services like Deadsoci.al, Liveson.org and Facebook’s “if i die,” make it possible for us to leave messages for friends, loved ones and even enemies.

            Consider the possibilities! Had the Internet been ubiquitous just 30 years ago, we could still be receiving messages from Richard Nixon. The idea of sending messages post mortem isn’t new, of course. Wills and letters to loved ones, drafted in the waning days of life, probably go back to pre-historic times when cavemen painted images on rocks. Even video messages go way back, all the way back to the 1980s when everyone grappled with their VCRs.

Still, how many people can you reach on mere paper documents? Really, how many letters can you write? The cost of postage alone is murder. Well, my friends we are no longer chained to any such limitations. Like the all you can eat buffet at the Golden Corral, you can offer a full plate of wisdom long after you’ve entered the next world. Those of us still earthbound can enjoy every morsel.

When three cyberspace executors of your choosing have verified your passing, your thoughts can be posted, just like before your demise. The difference is you don’t have to deal with smart aleck responses. You can even set up a delivery schedule for your tweets, texts and posts. It’s a new kind of immortality. Imagine sending your spouse, your adult children or maybe your old boss emails for months or even years after you die!

            “Honey, you’re always late filing our income taxes. April 15^th is right around the corner. Don’t wait to the last minute again. Get off your rear end and take care of it.” Your loved one will appreciate the reminder.

            Have you been busting with a secret? After you’ve been laid to rest, you can finally tell all. People love being let in on secrets, even dead people’s secrets. Imagine if you will a deathbed YouTube video to be sent to your siblings after you’re laid to rest.

“Hi Joe. Hi Mary.” (Long coughing spell)

“Remember when Mom died and we cleaned her house? Well, I want you to know I found twenty thousand dollars stashed in one of her suitcases.

“You guys were so busy arguing over those stupid Disney World souvenir spoons, I had no trouble sticking the suitcase in the trunk of my Mercedes. That vacation Melody and I took to the South Pacific? Mom’s little stash paid for that trip. We must have toasted you two from the promenade deck a thousand times. Wow! Feels good to get it off my chest! By the way Mary, I’m leaving you my share of those Disney spoons.”

These afterlife services aren’t the least bit shy or reserved about suggesting the possible uses of their cyberspace services. One site even goads you into settling old scores, using a graphic of the middle finger to emphasize the point. A capital idea, no? Shouldn’t we all strive for revenge as a final legacy without the opportunity to make amends? Last tap indeed.

Most of us believe in the afterlife. According to one poll, 82% of Americans believe in life after death. But most of us don’t really believe in death, at least not our own. The people at Facebook understand this. They could have called their service “when I die.” Instead they chose “if I die.”  We treat our own demise as a conditional thing, something that might happen; as if the laws of nature don’t apply to us.
Still, all the evidence suggests that everyone eventually will exit planet earth. Question is, where are those messages Deadsoci.al will send for us really going to come from? My advice? Play it safe. Be nice…even after you’re gone.    

We Didn't Start the Fire but we did add fuel

           Yelp Pandora, Spotify, someone help me clarify.

           Pinterest, Foursquare, please end this nightmare.

            If you’re over a certain age say 60, there is an excellent chance you’ve never heard of the Internet applications I just referenced. If you have, by some chance, heard of them you are probably only vaguely aware of their purposes. I heard a speech Saturday about the circle of life and how the time comes when you are no longer standing center stage in your personal world. The spotlight is moving (as it should) to your children, younger co-workers, even grandchildren.

            In generations past it was harder perhaps, to detect the signs that the universe’s stage manager was trying, gently at first, to help that generation’s elders to exit stage left gracefully. The signs weren’t as obvious then as they are now. Change happened at a relative snail’s pace. And St Peter’s admonition “likewise ye younger submit yourselves to the elder,” was still taken seriously.   

            Today, thanks in large part to the Internet and mobile applications, change happens so quickly that we are in a constant race to keep up, keep abreast and for some, stay ahead of the curve. When we are young the race is exhilarating. We are bursting with energy, we are eager to learn, have ideas to churn, we’re ready to earn. Mistakes? No fear. We have time to burn.

            But time and the relentless torrent of alternating fortune and reversal wear on us. Don’t misunderstand; it isn’t that our knees squawk every time we stand up. That our eyes struggle to see the not so fine print, that the volume knob on our car radio is shocked by the setting we now demand. No, these are not the signs that whisper, “The spotlight now belongs to the younger ones.” We have more energy than you might imagine. There is plenty of curiosity too, cat be damned.

            What’s different then? I believe it’s the chilling realization that hits us at a certain age; the sense that time really is very precious. I have noticed this with good friends. I hear a lot of wistful comments, tinged with a mixture of regret and a grudging sign of acceptance. It’s a well worn path, gingerly trod by the aging who took the journey before us.

Young people have voracious appetites for the new and different.  Older people wake up one day and realize they must choose.

Do we stay tuned to the endless loop of the latest and the greatest; the Bachelor’s pick, the next American Idol, the latest must have app for our iPhone 5? What’s happening in North Korea, Iran, and Pakistan? Are you keeping up with global warming, the economy and the fiscal cliff? We aren’t weary in the physical sense, not yet. But now, the time seems right to narrow down our interests to subjects –and tasks useful to us and those around us.  

Communication technology is changing the world in fundamental ways in the same manner that industrialization changed the world. The changes are happening much faster this time.

When Billy Joel sang “We didn’t start the fire” listing 100 headlines between 1949 and 1989, it was perhaps, a prescient message. Yet, I wonder how many people born in 1989, could identify the people or events Mr. Joel referenced in his song. For that matter have they ever even heard the song? How many know who Billy Joel is? The good news is of course, anyone who wants to grasp the references can simply Google them.

Funny thing is Billy could write an updated version beginning in 1989. His song could easily run twice as long. In case he’s interested, I‘ve given him a head start.

Yelp Pandora, Spotify, someone help me clarify.

            Pinterest, Foursquare please end this nightmare.

 

The fire is just starting.