If you don’t have time to watch tonight’s town hall
debate between Governor Romney and President Obama here’s a sneak preview.
Crowley: After a flip of the coin President Obama will go
first. Mr. Antoine Carl, a plumber from the Bronx has the first question.
“When are you guys gonna stop interrupting the prime time
shows we watch with your lousy commercials?”
Obama:
Mister Carl I have to say I agree with you that
political ads can be distracting. If you’re watching Made in Jersey and a
Romney-Ryan ad comes on, I’m sure its infuriating to you. But I need to point
out that these ads are paid for, just like every other advertisement. If you
didn’t get one of our ads you would probably have to watch that Progressive
Insurance ad with the weird lady who wears the bright red lipstick talking about
car insurance. Listen, whenever she comes on, either Michelle or I grab the
remote and hit the mute button. As your President I promise you that after I’m
re-elected two things will happen: There won’t be any more Romney ads and I
will direct the IRS to investigate the Progressive Insurance lady to see if we
can arrange for her to do five years in a Federal penitentiary. I’m tired of
looking at her too.
Romney:
May I call you Ant? Great! Let me say Ant that
political ads are good for the business community. Millions of dollars are
spent on ads and these dollars trickle down throughout the economy, creating
jobs in the advertising, television, fashion and makeup industry just to name a
few. This is where President Obama and I have huge differences. He wants to
make the Progressive lady dependent on government and I want to help wealth
creating ad agencies create jobs. And by the way Ant, take it from me, very few
rich people can do their own plumbing. These ads are good for your business. I also
think it’s clear that the President is out of touch with the issues facing most
Americans. He didn’t even know that Made in Jersey has already been cancelled.
Romney:
Miss Vito, have you asked your parents for a
loan? That is really the way America was built, in the private sector, people
helping people. Like you, my Dad was in the automobile industry and the
government never gave him a dime. You see, we can’t keep spending money to
train out of work hairdressers when in fact nearly every woman in America wants
a haircut, a dye job or a perm. I have to say I am surprised that you are out
of work. I’ll bet the government didn’t pay for your hairdresser education. Why
not take advantage of the skills you have now and then use the extra money from
all the tips you get to cover the costs of auto mechanic school? My opponent
would like to send everyone back to school which would, as I have said
repeatedly during this campaign, make even more Americans dependent on
government. We can’t afford it and if I’m elected President, government will
get out of the way of our free enterprise system so people like yourself can go
to work. My secret plan will create 12 million jobs, Miss Vito. I’m sure
there’s one with your name on it.
Obama:
That’s the problem with Governor Romney’s entire
campaign. He is very successful and he earned his money, make no bones about
it. But he can’t see that there are people out there who are hurting. If you’ve
been an out of work hairdresser for twenty years, chances are you are eligible
for Social Security disability. You don’t even have to go back to school or
work. Now I didn’t create the disability program, I inherited it just like I
did the disastrous economy left by George W. Bush. Governor Romney wants to
take us back to those years where the problems started in the first place. By
the way, Miss Vito, can you tell me what the correct ignition timing would be
on a 1958 Rambler? I have one sitting in my garage at the White House. I’ll
give you 50 bucks if you can get it started for me. And so it goes…
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